


I'm Not Going Anywhere

by orphan_account



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hint of HijiGin, Hurt/Comfort, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 01:59:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4203645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Kagura loses control of her Yato side, kills another Yato, and comes to her senses upon seeing the man she's in love with?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Going Anywhere

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so the plot is just a random thought that came to my mind during a "what-if" encounter. I wrote this in response and only meant for a short one-shot. It ended up being longer than I expected. 
> 
> The "Mature" rating is given for Sougo's language mostly. I'm also considering writing a second chapter with some steamier scenes. I was just too tired to do that right now. Also for the violence in the beginning. 
> 
> I hope you like it!

Kagura felt her body go weak as all the strength her small frame carried passed away. She wasn’t dying, it felt worse than death ever could, staring down at what was another Yato, past tense. Her body was trembling from something much stronger than fear, she could hear everyone around her cheering, one of their strongest enemies had fallen and where she’d planned to stop it -- instead she had caused it.

She felt the undeniable burn before she could stop it, her eyes enraged and the salty tears having to find purchase elsewhere. The cheers and everything else around her faded away into a black nothing.

She looked up again, seeing a familiar black and gold uniform, she wondered if they had seen what she did. Judging by Kondo’s face, they had, but it wasn’t his face she was concerned with. Her eyes filtered towards Okita Sougo, the one she calls “Sadist” because of his tendencies, and he was looking at her with a look that was utterly deadpan. She had no way of knowing how he thought about her right now. But that didn’t matter. She took her first step since the conclusion of the battle, it was heavy, yet something inside of her felt light. It sickened her, but she continued her advance towards the Shinsengumi, and stopped in front of the trio, she looked at them and held out her hand. Ready for the cuffs.

She couldn’t go free after this. Everything she had ever lived for, everything she preached about, she went against her entire moral philosophy and for what? Well...he had threatened those dearest to her. But what’s the point if her philosophy can’t protect them without her going into Yato mode.

“What do you want, China?” the Sadist asked her, cocking his head to the side as the three gave her a look. “You aren’t asking me to have overly kinky and sadistic intercourse are you? Because as amazing as that sounds, I don’t think this is the right place for that.” Sadistic asshole.

“I just killed someone, Sadist. You’re the police. I think it’s obvious what’s supposed to happen.” she stated, and wished she could hear his thoughts. But no, on second thought, she’d rather not know what goes through his head all the time. Just what he was really thinking about this situation. If she were being honest, Sadist was probably her best friend outside the Yorozuya, who were like family; and Otae, who was like an older sister. All of which she’s never had before. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she lives by her heart, and her heart tells her she’s in love with this man before her. This Sadist has captured her heart and was doing terrible things to it. But she would never tell him that.

“China, I think that’s the last thing on everyone’s mind. You should be celebrating, you just saved the day.” Sadist pointed out in that annoying tone of his that was telling her that he wasn’t taking this seriously. “Stupid.” There it was, she had been waiting for that.

“Kagura, we don’t plan on hauling you off, so why don’t you go have fun.” Kondo said, smiling brightly and moved to ruffle her hair a bit, but when his hand was hit and he stumbled back just a few steps. He struggled to find purchase and then looked up at her with a fake hurt expression, “That hurt!” he pouted but the look immediately disappeared as he saw the look in her eyes. Narrowed eyes causing the blue in her eyes to look as though they were a sea of despair. Kondo felt the shivers run through his entire being.

Her body was still trembling, and she was realizing with a morbidity, that trembling was caused from excitement. From the thrill of the kill. Her inner beast was struggling to resurface, after finally giving into her primal instincts it wanted nothing more than for her to let go and kill everyone here. Kagura felt the tears run freely at this point, so busy trying to contain that barbaric urge that her body didn’t have the strength for this.

“Please. I’m begging you. I need to be caged.” Kagura released the words through gritted teeth, she felt a hand on her shoulder, immediately she knew it was Gin-chan, immediately she threw him off her and straight into Hijikata. “Don’t touch me!” She couldn’t stop the motion no matter how much her mind told her that Gin was severely wounded. The Yato had a foothold now, and Yato wasn’t letting go for nothing.

“China, calm down! Don’t go all monster on us!” Sadist patronized and she glared up at him, and in that moment she saw when something clicked inside of him, when Okita Sougo realized that Kagura of the Yato was more than just a little girl with a gentle heart. He realized that she was scared, desperate, and lonely; he realized that she was something that should not even exist. She was ready for it to hurt, to feel the pain of rejection, and then all she felt were his arms around her. Containing her. She didn’t know how, maybe it was because she didn’t ever think she could hurt him, if he was strong enough to reign her in, or if his touch was what she needed to anchor her down. The others could pull her out of that place, she knew that, but his touch and scent alone was enough to turn her trembles of adrenaline into trembles of exhaustion. “China, I’m here, you’re not a monster and you don’t need to be caged. We’ll all make sure of that.” the Sadist declared, a rare show of complete and utter kindness as she melted into his touch. Finally, adrenaline raced through her body and out her ears, eyes, nose, anywhere there was an opening -- she could feel her energy draining from. “Sougo, I….” she felt her eyelids drop and though the words were ringing through her head she couldn’t speak to let them go.

“Sougo, I love you. Thank you.”

Perhaps it was for the best, after all, he was her rival and knew exactly what she needed. They had a special connection, even if it weren’t the one she was seeking. She understood why so many of her shows, when a character passed out or died, recited that phrase “then the world faded into black” because that is exactly what happened; vaguely she could hear the sound of someone crying out her name.

That was Sougo’s voice calling for her.  
It made her smile.

* * *

They had arrived just as the battle intensified, Shinpachi was laying unconscious on the ground a good feet away, and Kondo ordered for Yamazaki to go grab his little brother to be and get him to safety. Gin on the other hand, Gin was in a worse place, he was being beat like a punching bag and judging by the blood covering his body, he couldn’t take much more. In fact, it looked like the Boss had a lot of wounds that were being reopened. Gin was weak right now, not a sight he was used to seeing. What happened with that prostitute and kid that Gin had taken a job from in the city of Eternal Night?

“Everyone! Standby for an opening, Okita -- you and I are going to get this guys attention --”

Hijikata’s voice stuttered off as he was about to allow me to enter the battlefield. I was about to say something along the lines of “What is it, are you finally dying or realizing your feelings for Boss?” or something else that would have pissed Hijikata off. But everything grew silent as Kagura suddenly appeared, her usual red outfit was barely enough to cover her anymore, acting more as a pair of rugged shorts and as a wrap around her barely existent chest. Her skin was gorgeous, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her face to ogle just a little more. Because her eyes were wider than any humans should ever be, and I’m suddenly reminded that China is an Amanto. I might call her an alien a lot, but I’m realizing how much I actually have disconnected with the very idea of it.

Her eyes looked like she was out for blood, her pupils dilated so much that the ocean of her eyes was impossible to see and get lost in like I usually would have liked to do. No, now she just had bug eyes.

I was about to run out there and help China, after all, that’s the kind of relationship we have. Challenge each other at every step. But Kondo’s shaking hand on my shoulder stopped me. I spared him a momentary glance, but his eyes were also focused on the sight of my China.  
“Something in her has changed, I’ve never felt afraid of that little girl, but looking at her now. Sougo, I don’t think that is our Kagura anymore.” he stated, his voice was serious and held a slight tremble in it that made me lower my bazooka just a smidgen.  
“Kondo-san, I could just shoot them and it would be fine.” I pointed out.  
“No. Sougo, I don’t think she’ll stop until she’s tasted blood.”  
I blink, take a moment to process, and I’m immediately pulled back into her when I hear an inhuman scream as the Yato beating Gin is suddenly gasping for breath in the air. Gin, looking at Kagura, and his voice trying desperately to work when it wouldn’t. The Boss passed out, and Kagura was gone.

We watched as we witnessed a battle of Yato, how they tore each other to shreds, my eyes were wide as I saw the Yato wrap an arm around her waist in midair and another around her neck. But he didn’t mind his fingers, and before the Yato could send Kagura into the earth's core like he obviously planned -- he was releasing the red-haired girl, trying to throw her far away even. At first I couldn’t tell what happened, but when she landed near us -- I could see Kagura’s face clearly, but she couldn’t see me. I know she couldn’t. Three fingers. That’s how many she spat onto the ground, her eyes moved back, and suddenly she was on him again.

This wasn’t my Kagura.  
This was the beast inside my Kagura feared.

The next fifteen minutes dragged on, all of them including Kagura utterly wrecking some other part of the other Yato’s body. By the time he hit the ground, mostly just a torso, Kagura looked around. As if she were searching for more prey, but then our eyes met and I schooled myself to look like I normally do. Suddenly I could see in her eyes again, my Kagura had returned. She looked down at herself and I felt this odd sensation that I wanted to take her into my arms and never allow anyone else to grasp a hold of her. There were tears, and downcast glances, injured Gin tried to calm her down, but he ended up with Hijikata on the ground and it looked like Boss could barely move anymore. It was to be expected, the medics were trying to contain the man who was a bloody mess. But that bloody mess was worried about my Kagura. Usually I felt jealous of how close Kagura and Boss were, but not right now.

She came over and asked me to chain her, to be caged like an animal, and any other day I would have offered to chain her to my bed. I want to ravish her and make her feel more like a woman. This wasn’t the sort of chain I wanted to use on her....Instead I took her into my arms and expected to fight her. I expected that my Kagura was going to struggle to be released, to insist more on chains, but instead she immediately relaxed and melted into my touch. There was so much I could say to that, but not right now.

She said my name, Sougo, and I was listening ever so intently, dying to know if she was going to say what I wanted to hear.

“Kagura? Hey!”

The next thing I knew, she was passed out in my arms, almost set off into that frightening state again. But for some reason, she settled into my arms, and I couldn’t help but to find a certain level of glee at that. Kagura was made for me. I had no idea if there was some all-knowing creator, if there was I praised him. Because Kagura was perfect. But if there wasn’t, I was going to thank fate for bringing us together and allowing me the honor of being able to fall in love with this girl. Because it was with this girl, I planned to spend the rest of his life.

“Okita! Bring her over her, we’ll take her to the hospital.” Hijikata must have gotten Gin settled with the ambulance and was going to go down with it. There were already too many people in there for him to get a seat it seemed. Now he was trying to get my Kagura into an ambulance.  
“No.”  
“Okita!?” Hijikata glared, and it wasn’t like I didn’t know that she needed medical attention. I did. But I could do everything she needed in my room back at the Shinsengumi, her Yato powers would have her up and running in no time, she didn’t need a hospital. She didn’t need a place where the walls allowed her to reflect upon her thoughts, so clear and judging were those white walls. No. All her friends were unsure of how to handle her. I was going to sit at her side and stay with her until she was well again.

So I adjusted my grip so that I could pull her up into a bridal carry position, and I walked towards the car. Vaguely I could see Hijikata staring at me with his cigarette barely hanging onto his bottom lip. I slipped her into the backseat and left. I didn’t care that this was Kondo’s car and that I came with three other people. All that mattered to me in this moment was the girl I intended to marry someday. But for now, I needed to figure out how and when to confess to her. I was just given all the proof in the world that life was too short to cower at something so small as confessing one's feelings.

But why did it seem like such a larger giant?

Upon arrival, the barracks were nice and empty, everyone was down at the location of the fight. So I took the time to slowly tend to her wounds and make sure that nothing was out of order. But as soon as I had the wounds cleaned they healed, if I had this kind of regenerative tissue the world would tremble at my feet. Honestly.

I glanced at her, taking some time to look over her beauty before standing, I’d be by her side the whole time. But first I was going to get some snacks prepared for her awakening. They would calm her down. I was hoping that the time it would take me to get the snacks, hopefully she would be awake, but I returned with a bag of goodies from the kitchen ten minutes later and she was still down under.

I placed a chair at the side of the bed, sat down, and took the time to look over her face. Because I had placed her beneath the covers, so I couldn’t see the rest of her stunning body. Yes, I might have taken a moment to photograph everything in my mind before making her comfortable.

“So...ugo…” I shot up hearing the words leave her lips, immediately I recognize my name, and furrow my eyebrows. She’s asleep still. Kagura was dreaming about me. My entire person froze at the very thought. Good god, she dreamed about me enough to actually whisper the name, she was beautiful enough to make me stumble. I look at the clock, it’s late, and I’ve already decided that this would be easy enough. I just hope she doesn’t beat me to a pulp. I have a feeling I’ll get to see a very red and adorable face up awaking from my sleep. So I find some sweatpants, and I don’t even bother with a shirt. I have to remain mildly proper, but I want to feel her skin against mine. So I laid down behind her, wrapped my arm around her waist and gently pulled her close, before closing my eyes and lulling myself to sleep with her breath and scent.

* * *

_I held my knees tighter to my chest, feeling the tears wetting the knee caps on my jeans. I’m all alone. I’m a monster, I broke my promise and now no one will ever see me as anything but a monster girl. They’ll all leave me. Just like Papi and Kamui._

_But then I heard a voice, a voice that usually made me internally smile whenever I heard it, though usually I would scowl and glare at the owner of the voice. “China, I’m here for you.” the Sadist stated as he wrapped around her, Kagura instantly called this to being a dream. After all, Sadist would never hold her like that, oh. Wait. He was holding me like that when he passed out wasn’t he?_

_“No you’re not. You’ll leave me too, just like everyone else!”_

_“China...no...Kagura, I love you. I’m going to glue myself to your side if I must!” Okita snapped back at her, drawing me out of my reclusive position and pressing our bodies together tightly before locking our lips together in a passionate kiss that left me weak in the knees._

_“So...gou…” I tried to get his name out, and once I did, he threw me against the bed that appeared all of a sudden._

_“I love you, Kagura!” Sougo mumbled against my neck, his hands were all over me and I just wanted to melt inside of him. It lasted like that for a long time, I couldn’t say how long. But when they finally parted, I watched as he stood, smiling at sadly sadly once Hijikata’s voice and turning around. I watched his back as he left the room, it seemed to take forever and I stretched out my hand for him._

“No! Don’t go!” I cried out as I sat up in bed, arm out-stretched and yet I knew I was no longer dreaming. Even though I knew I’d been dreaming, I got carried away.

See? Even in my dreams…  
Huh?  
That’s an arm wrapped around my waist.

I blink as I turn slight and see blood red eyes staring into mine, watching me intensely and instead I just look away. Too tired and defeated to bother challenging him tonight. It takes a minute for me to register the situation, but even then, I know this is his own way of showing me that he cares and in just a couple of minutes he’ll be kicking me out.

Yes.

At least I won’t have to watch his shoulders as they turn around and leave me to fend for myself. Absently I stare at the sleeping mask, obviously thrown to the side, probably when he heard me crying. “Sorry.” I say, shifting slightly to stand. “I...I should go…”

“No.”

Huh? I blinked, looking at him in confusion. Yelping when my body collided back with his, I felt weak. I hated this feeling, but I guess fighting that Yato took everything from me, not just my humanity, but even my strength. What am I without either of those things?

“Sadist, let me go. I’m okay.”  
“First, Kagura, use my name. Second, no you’re not; don’t lie to me. All I needed to know that was your response to this situation -- let alone that you were crying as you woke up and you’re speaking what you think. Third, you haven’t lost your humanity at all, you’re still Kagura. You’re still my rival. You’re still strong. You just have knew battles to face.” Okita spoke, and I wondered if maybe he was using me to get all his sappiness out since his sister is no longer around for him to get his sappiness out to. Another part of me was hoping.

“Sad...Sougo,” she paused, the word feeling heavy on her tongue, “Why did you bring me here?” I ask, feeling the burn of tears once more. God, I hate this, I hate tears. I hate crying. But Sougo embraced me, and I couldn’t be bothered enough to question it, instead I sobbed into his shoulder.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To begin with, I hadn’t expected for Kagura to wake up so suddenly in the middle of the night. Immediately I threw off my sleeping mask and tightened my grip as he body shot up and reached out for some unknown figure that was likely walking away from her. The biggest cliche in the books. I should have commented something like that, but instead I wanted to know who exactly drilled this fear of people leaving her alone was. I wanted to know exactly who fucked with her and then left her out to dry only to never return.

I wanted to kill whoever they were.

We began conversing, and instead of freaking out, she didn’t even get red in the face and that saddened me greatly. But again, I thought she’d be caught in sleep for awhile after a battle like that. Another time then. But then she started crying, and usually I hate women who cry. I hate when they show weakness. It’s why I never embrace women, I can’t stand how weak they are. But I know Kagura isn’t weak. Instead I feel pride at being able to say that I’ve seen her at her weakest, and I still love her.

Good god she’s going to turn me into the sappiest of saps!

“Kagura,” I finally start up again after a good ten minutes of just letting her get the tears out. “Yeah?” she asked, voice portraying all the strength she’s using to try and pick herself back up.  
“I want to know who left you alone enough that your nightmares consist only of people showing you their backs?”  
She shot up, “Sougo! You can’t see people's dreams can you? Because that would be scary!” the words left her lips and her eyes were wide and naive and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, I have yet to develop that power. Sadly. Instead I rely on impeccable observational skills.” I say with a bit more flamboyant than I wished to express. Oh well.  
But her eyes grew closer together and her body stiffened against me as she thought about how to answer.  
“Why?” she finally asked, looking at me with determination, so adorable.   
“Because I’m going to tear them to shreds.” Okita smiled sweetly.  
“Why?”  
“Because they hurt the girl I love.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I love you.”  
“Why?”  
“Kagura, I swear if you ask why one more time I’m going to spank you!”

Kagura looked at me with wide eyes and her mouth was open as if she were considering the possibility of it and probably determining if he’d actually do it. Once she realized that, hey, this is Sadist she’s talking to… maybe he wouldn’t? No. He definitely would.  
“Wait. You l-like me?” Kagura asked, body pressing even closer to me as she suddenly connected the dots.  
“No.”  
She looked crestfallen and raised a fist to hit me, with eyes that would kill if they held swords. “I love you.” I say when that fist is mere centimeters from my face.  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Sougo?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I love you too.”  
“Kagura,”  
“Yeah?”  
“I’m gonna kiss you.”

There was no ‘Yeah’ in reply after that. Instead, their lips were locked together and Okita finally got his girl while Kagura was feeling reassured that he wasn’t going to be walking away anytime soon. The kissing was turning extremely heated when suddenly…

“STOP RIGHT THERE!”

A voice roared through the room, and both Okita and Kagura turned to see who made that noise.  
Okita was pretty sure that was Umibozu, who...right, this is Kagura’s father. Alongside…

Who the hell is this male version of Kagura? She has a brother?

“Papi! Kamui!” Kagura’s eyes widen as she takes in the sight of two people she loves, and yet hates. “What are you doing here!?” she demanded.

“We heard what happened,” ‘Papi’ turned to glare at this ‘Kamui’ and “Where we ended up meeting, and apparently one of this idiots operatives went rogue and was going on a rampage to get his attention.”  
“That IS what happened, baldy. He wanted my affection, I refused, he went on a rampage. I didn’t think my sister would get caught in it!” Kamui glared.

So basically, one of them has a sister complex while the other has a daughter complex. I glanced at Kagura and she looked both elated and terrified.

“But then we locate you, and you’re...you….and this boy! Papi doesn’t approve!” he burst into big crocodile tears.  
“For once I agree with him, Kagura. Come with me and I’ll make sure to raise you properly!” Kamui stated looking determined and then advancing on us. Instead I draw my sword and let the tip slit the Yato’s cheek before sliding it down towards his neck, my arm tightening around Kagura. “Fucking try it, I may not know much, but I’m getting the feeling that you’re the assholes who leave her with nightmares of people leaving her behind.” I glared.

“Sougo! Stop!” Kagura tried to move and tip the sword away, but instead I wrapped the covers around her and drug her back into my chest where I could hold her. The salty water that was now pouring down my chest was enough proof for me that I hit the nail on the head.

Looking into the eyes of a Yato who obviously wanted to kill me, but was restraining himself because of guilt, and then the other who didn’t bother moving because of guilt. Father and son respectfully, “You’re not even offering her any condolences? No excuses as to why you fucking did that? I don’t give a shit what happened yesterday. But I know that today, you two are just opening old wounds and pouring salt in them. This is my room, therefore I have the authority to tell you to get the fuck out before I arrest you. I’m Shinsengumi after all, I have that authority too! And I know I can find more than a few grounds to get you on, Kamui!” I glare at them. “You can talk and have a family reunion later! As soon as Kagura isn’t hurting anymore than you make her!” Snarling, I felt her small hands tighten on my chest.

“You, boy, have no right ordering me --”  
“Please leave.” Kagura suddenly requested, not even pulling her head away from my chest, instead she just bellowed out the request.

There was a lot of hurt, and a lot of open wounds in here, I wasn’t going to force her to mend any of those wounds on a good day. But on a day like today? There wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to let them bully her.

“Very well, Okita Sougo was it? We’ll be having a talk on another date.”  
“Make that two separate talks.” Kamui added, glaring through blood thirsty eyes.

When they were gone he let Kagura cry into my chest and cradled her. I vaguely heard the sound of a door being shut, but I didn’t care who had peeked in on them. After all, all I could care about was the fact that China was now my woman and I wasn’t going to let anything hurt her anymore.

Even if I was dreading a conversation with both the father and brother.  
He’d work that dread out on Hijikata, Kondo and Yamazaki for spying on the whole ordeal without saying a word.

 


End file.
